Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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