At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
