Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My ass is underappreciated
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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