Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
