So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
