just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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