How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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