yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
