i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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