On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
