I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is Oprah even human
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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