haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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