Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize