We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize