I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
