her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
