so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
