I need help removing her.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
