shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
