did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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