white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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