He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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