So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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