Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
