I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
