I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
