Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
