just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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