Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.

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  (917): And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it. http://tfl.nu/q4pd
  Replies (14) Good night (2021) Bad night (2471)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.

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  (580): I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/vucu
  Replies (18) Good night (6774) Bad night (967)
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  (310): View more from California

  Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.

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  (310): Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces. http://tfl.nu/d897
  Replies (12) Good night (4590) Bad night (730)
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  (916): View more from California

  rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war

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  (916): rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war http://tfl.nu/t68o
  Replies (32) Good night (1005) Bad night (6648)
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  (818): View more from California

  So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice

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  (818): So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice http://tfl.nu/dh5p
  Replies (94) Good night (9025) Bad night (856)
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  (754): View more from Florida

  You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.

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  (754): You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm. http://tfl.nu/ypbk
  Replies (18) Good night (4879) Bad night (1114)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth

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  (865): I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth http://tfl.nu/mdm2
  Replies (13) Good night (1485) Bad night (4287)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"

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  (519): I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position" http://tfl.nu/0g0v
  Replies (8) Good night (4436) Bad night (972)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.

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  (225): thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm. http://tfl.nu/s8ta
  Replies (4) Good night (1936) Bad night (800)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know

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  (217): If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know http://tfl.nu/k0hk
  Replies (1) Good night (1316) Bad night (512)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.

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  (605): Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction. http://tfl.nu/iqla
  Replies (4) Good night (944) Bad night (1522)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!

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  (518): I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING! http://tfl.nu/za5e
  Replies (18) Good night (1156) Bad night (2823)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How was the birthday sex?

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.

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  (610): How was the birthday sex? (1-610): Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs. http://tfl.nu/8fjx
  Replies (2) Good night (533) Bad night (2109)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...

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  (407): We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup... http://tfl.nu/u3jq
  Replies (1) Good night (249) Bad night (712)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me

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  (512): I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me http://tfl.nu/qwmj
  Replies (2) Good night (445) Bad night (127)

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