I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
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What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
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I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?