I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.