So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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