Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize