Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
