Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
