so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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