He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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