Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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