I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
