whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
