I think my vagina is haunted
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
