i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
His hands were made for my vagina.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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