You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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