new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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