do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
