so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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