32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
