what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
