I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I touched a dick in church today
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
