is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
