Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
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Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
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Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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