Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
