Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
