You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
