Michael Bay diarrhea
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
