Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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