he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
