My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize