Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Holy shit dude........stairs
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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