I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
