if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize