so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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