you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
