i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
