He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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