im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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