Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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