So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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