called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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